


Lost love

by Todae_is_a_present



Category: BIGBANG - Fandom
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-25 22:20:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12542492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Todae_is_a_present/pseuds/Todae_is_a_present
Summary: There was us. WAS. I miss him, every single day.





	Lost love

My beautiful angel laid on the hospital bed while rained outside as though heaven itself is crying for him.

The board now states ' ** _patient requests no-resuscitation_**.'

He faded away bit by bit everyday, a lush figure no more, but a fraction of his former self, beautiful nonetheless. IV tubes were hooked up and a nasal cannula was placed in his nostrils. We had just finished talking to his doctor.

He is suffering, tortured, and yet he still smiles beautifully. His eyes showed nothing but love and devotion when he looked at me. I started to speak but the lump in my throat is choking me. My eyes burned with unshed tears as I tried to be strong for him, for us.

"But you will die." I told him, almost begging.

"I'm not afraid. I won't be alone. I won't suffer anymore."

"But I'll only be able to go to you after a long time." 

"I know. I'll be the first to greet you when you arrive. I will run to you as fast as I can." He told me, mischief twinkled in his eyes. Sickness couldn't take that away from him, for he was life itself.

"But I am afraid. I'll miss you so very much." I tried again. I'm being selfish, I know, only thinking of keeping him by my side and not of him.

**_I need him._ **

"I love you." Those three words, underlaced with his plea for my understanding.  _'Let me go, please. End my pain.'_

"I love you too. More than you will ever know." I said, after a long, heavy pause. My reply, my answer.

"I am so lucky." The sincerity of his tone sets off a pang in my chest.

"Why?" I didn't really want to hear his explanation. I didn't want to hear anything else. The notion of him not being around, it numbed me to the core. At that moment, knowing that what we knew, how am I to go on? 

But he understood, he always did. 

"I had you, hyung, your love. That, will never die."

***

 

The ever cruel thing, time, it spares no one. Merrily ticking away, slowly robbing us of it, time.

He never recovered. We never left the hospital. Our last days were spent talking about our future, one which we know will never happen.

But we can hope, can't we?

And I prayed, god, how hard I prayed.

I stared out into the dark sky every single night, wishing upon every shooting star, how hard I wished.

It still happened.

"Smile, hyung. Let me look at your pretty face, please." He voice barely above a whisper, pleading.

And I did, I forced a smile.

I can't…

I can't let him go…

There wasn't a choice.

I have to keep the tears at bay. 

Yet, drop by drop slid down the corner of my eyes.

I wiped at them furiously for they blurred out my vision.

He shook his head weakly, a wan smile wormed its way onto his lips as if to tell me _'what am I to do with you, silly?'_

My tears only came in faster but I don't bother with them anymore.

I smiled wider, to let him know I will be fine. 

I smiled, because it was his last request.

I smiled, knowing it was his final memory.

I wanted him to go in peace but my own heart was breaking, dying.

With his last breath, he said to me, "I'll be waiting, hyung."

"Goodbye, my love." I leaned over for a kiss, droplets landing on his pale skin, I swiped a thumb across to clean them away.

I find myself thinking that this was that last time I'll touch his warm skin. 

With the softest of kisses, he left.

The heavens had reclaimed one of their own, leaving me to drown in sorrow.

***

 

I miss him so much.

Loneliness fills my everyday.

I look at his pictures and videos all the time and remember the days I was blessed to have spent with my angel.

Tears fall unfailingly, my heart aches so bad sometimes that I can hardly breathe. The only thing I want right now is a simple hug and kiss.

I know that it is impossible, I can never feel him again. His scent is dissipating, the one thing I sought comfort from, that too, will be taken away from me.

I only wish to nuzzle his warm neck and breathe in his scent once more.

Yet, it is a wish that can never be granted.

I imagine him waiting for me, it reassures me just a little.

Someday, someday I'll see him again.

I swear sometimes I hear his cute voice calling me 'Hyung~'. But everytime I turn around, he is never there. It kills me a little more inside each time I was forced to remember that he had left.

How much longer will this go on?

I pray even though I am not religious.

I pray, hoping my voice will be heard.

"Hello there, my angel. How are you today? I miss you so much. Are you still waiting for me? Because I am waiting for the day till we meet again. I am still alone, waiting."

**Author's Note:**

> I love Dae baby, I love bingu Top and I absolutely am gutted for what I did to Dae baby.
> 
> This is a revised version of one of my very very very old work.


End file.
